My Journey: Perimenopause, From Dismissal to Empowerment

And Why You Should Advocate for Yourself

Looking back, it's clear that my perimenopause journey started long before I even knew what it was. The symptoms were subtle at first, easily dismissed or mistaken for something else. But over time, they became impossible to ignore. This is my story—a story of frustration, perseverance, and ultimately, empowerment. It's a story I share in the hope that it will encourage other women to advocate for themselves and seek the answers they deserve.

The Challenge: Heavy Bleeding and Medical Dismissal

My first real clue that something was changing happened in the summer of 2020 when my period didn't arrive for over 40 days. I thought I was pregnant and even took a test. When I went to the doctor, they assured me everything was fine—without even mentioning perimenopause. Since my period returned to "normal" for the next few months, I didn't think much of it.

But in the summer of 2022, the symptoms returned, this time much worse. My period became dangerously heavy. I was bleeding an alarming amount and had no idea what was happening. I found a gynecologist and got an appointment quickly. The doctor, a man, suggested perimenopause but seemed largely unconcerned. He prescribed progesterone to slow the bleeding, which had already lasted for more than two weeks, leaving me anemic and utterly exhausted.

The progesterone did slow the bleeding, but when they performed an intrauterine ultrasound, they found fibroids—three in total, one the size of a golf ball. The scheduled procedure—a hysteroscopy and a D&C—revealed polyps as well. To manage my symptoms, they inserted a progesterone IUD.

Meanwhile, I had another huge concern: my mother had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, following in my grandmother's footsteps. This put me at high risk, and I worried about being on progesterone long-term. The doctor, however, dismissed my concerns.

Have you ever felt dismissed by a doctor when discussing your perimenopause symptoms?

The Turning Point: Advocacy and Second Opinions

Just five days after the procedure, I was laughing at a comedy show when I felt something pop. Suddenly, I started bleeding uncontrollably. My husband rushed me to the hospital, where the bleeding eventually slowed. Another ultrasound showed nothing alarming, and at my follow-up, my doctor remained unconcerned. He had previously mentioned the possibility of a hysterectomy but now advised against it. I felt dismissed and unheard.

That's when I sought a second opinion. This doctor nearly prescribed a medication that would have dangerously interacted with my progesterone IUD. Realizing the risk, I refused the medication. Frustrated and still searching for answers, I sought a third opinion. This doctor changed everything. She was compassionate, knowledgeable, and within minutes, diagnosed me with adenomyosis—a condition I had never even heard of.

Key takeaway: If you're experiencing unusual symptoms, don't hesitate to seek a second opinion.

The Decision: Hysterectomy and Genetic Testing

She took the time to explain my condition and walked me through my options. When she asked which symptom bothered me most, my answer was immediate: brain fog. I hated how it affected my daily life. She explained that for me, a hysterectomy—not ablation—would be the best choice. Since my slim build and ongoing symptoms suggested that an ablation wouldn't be effective, I decided on the hysterectomy.

Around the same time, I got the results of my genetic tests. I had a mutation on the ATM gene, which significantly increased my risk of breast, ovarian, and pancreatic cancers. My mother did not carry a known breast cancer gene, meaning I inherited this from my father's side. My doctors estimated a 50% lifetime risk of breast cancer. Given this, I met with a gynecologic oncologist, and together, we decided to remove my fallopian tubes, uterus, cervix, and fibroids, but leave my ovaries intact for now. Research suggests that 98% of ovarian cancers originate in the fallopian tubes, so removing them was a preventive measure. The plan was to monitor my hormone levels and remove my ovaries once I had fully transitioned through menopause.

Recovery and Life After Surgery

The first few days after surgery were tough, but once I healed, I knew I had made the right decision. I no longer had to suffer through debilitating periods. The challenge now is that without a period, I have no clear indicator of whether I'm in menopause.

I do still feel hormonal fluctuations. I don't experience hot flashes, but I do have night sweats. I also struggle with symptoms like brain fog, mood swings, sleep disturbances, anxiety, low energy, joint pain, and headaches. Some of these may be linked to perimenopause, others to my ADHD, and still others to my genetic factors.

Connecting the Dots: ADHD and Hormonal Changes

Shortly after my hysterectomy, I was diagnosed with ADHD. The timing wasn't a coincidence. Losing my ability to mask and cope with the hormonal upheaval made it impossible to ignore my neurodivergence any longer.

This experience reinforced what I had already started to suspect—there is a strong connection between ADHD and menopause. The hormonal shifts during perimenopause can exacerbate ADHD symptoms, making executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, and brain fog even more challenging.

Lessons Learned and Advocacy for Others

Looking back, I wish I had known more about perimenopause, adenomyosis, and the hormonal impact of ADHD. Too many women suffer in silence because they are dismissed by medical professionals or simply unaware of what's happening in their bodies.

Advocate for yourself: Don't be afraid to ask questions, challenge your doctor's assumptions, and seek out additional resources.

If you're experiencing heavy bleeding, unexplained fatigue, or worsening ADHD symptoms, advocate for yourself. Seek second—or third—opinions. Educate yourself on your options. And most importantly, trust that what you're feeling is real and deserves attention.

Final Thoughts

Perimenopause, like ADHD, is often misunderstood. The journey to getting answers can be exhausting, but it's one worth taking. If you're navigating similar struggles, know that you're not alone. Your concerns are valid, your symptoms are real, and you deserve to be heard.

If you suspect perimenopause is affecting your ADHD symptoms, or if you're struggling to get answers, keep pushing. The right doctor—the one who listens, validates, and offers real solutions—is out there. And when you find them, it can change everything.

Are you struggling to find answers or support during your perimenopause journey?

Schedule a free consultation with me today. Let's work together to navigate your unique challenges and create a plan that supports your well-being.